Life’s Calling

Ever heard someone say this is, “your calling”.  Something life gives you knowledge about.  A life event which either pushes you forward or defines your weakness.  Why is it people think their “calling” is easy—or uncomplicated?  One thing you can count on, at some point your calling is going to crush you.   

Don’t believe me?

Would you put your faith into someone giving advice on something they had never accomplished?  Think about this.  Those who speak wisely about a broken heart, typically have wrestled with a shattered heart.  That crushing blow which separates those with the ability to grab boot straps—pull hard—and figure out a way to stand strong again and those unwilling or unable to do so.  

Those who have the ability to empower and motivate have at some point been ridiculed.  Have had their self esteem shattered by those sitting in the stands.  Who have had to tell themself they aren’t worthless— while others are telling them they have no value.

In my experience, the best advisors are those who have had life slam them into the ground-fought to get back onto solid ground—and used this experience to pay it forward and help others.  

My younger sibling was far from perfect.  Ok, he made insanity look normal.  Living in a small town, it was impossible to be discreet about anything.  All knew your business.  When I was a teenager, my Mom walked into a room where a couple of friends were discussing her.  Unaware she was there and able to listen.  When they realized she had overheard, they looked at my mother.  She shook her head, smiled and walked away.  I remember feeling the ache in my mother’s heart.  Wondering why she said nothing.  

On another occasion.  My Mom knew a friend who talked bad about her, this friend never knew  Mom was aware of her disloyalty, as it was never mentioned. My mother smiled and walked away from the friendship. Again, I remember feeling the ache in my mother’s heart.  

I never understood why my mother didn’t confront these people.  Speak her mind.  Years later, finding myself in the same predicament, I was determined to not be like my mother.  Confronting the disloyalty.  The outcome?  I was the bad guy—and now the outcast.  A mother’s wisdom defined in the moment.  The outcome of losing friends the same—however the magnitude of drama fed much higher.

Years ago, I was dating a man who was and always will be the love of my life.  I can still remember seeing him for the first time.  He walked into the room—bold—determined.  A lightening bolt piercing through me when my eyes first glanced into his bright blue eyes.  His voice elevating my blood pressure.  It went beyond hanging the moon—in my eyes he hung the galaxy.  We should all be so lucky as to feel this once in our lives.  I also remember the day the realization hit me he didn’t love me back.  It was a crushing blow—in my heart—we would be together forever.  In reality—he did not feel the same way.  

Heartache—that part of life we all wish to avoid—yet inevitably it finds us.  Some more than others.  Knowing the pain—somehow gives the ability to help each other through.  

Heartache has a positive though.  Without the presence of love, the heart couldn’t ache.  Therefore, appreciate the ability to love.   There is a quote, “it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”  When my heart shattered at realizing the love of my life did not return my feelings, I managed to focus on all of the amazing experiences we shared together.  I did not regret anything.  For he gave me the ability to know love.  Whether he returned my feelings or not.  

Someone once said, “stop wasting time”, with regard to being with someone.  What an idiotic statement.  Of course it was stated by someone married three times, yet still single.  Isn’t it amazing how those married multiple times and yet remain unable to have a sustaining, healthy relationship, are the first to give advice on a topic they are so unsuccessful?  And yet people take their advice.  It is impossible to spend quality time with anyone and it be a waste.  Value human interaction.  

A friend of mine always went out of her way for people.  Zero appreciation.  One day she stood up for herself.  The outcome?  Those people chose to shift her out of their life because she stood up for herself.   She informed no longer would she be their doormat, she stopped crossing oceans for them when they would not even help her cross a bridge. She has never been happier than after she shook her head and walked away. 

For the past couple of days, I’ve been helping my cousin’s husband.  My cousin died suddenly.  Her husband in complete shock.  It’s been rough watching him walk in a fog of emotional distress.  The love of his life gone from this world.  It’s amazing to me the things people say.  The ICU nurse declaring, “talk to you soon!” after informing my cousin had passed. The hospital charge nurse declaring, “have a nice day!”,  as we left the hospital with her personal items.  Even worse, the vultures coming out of the woodwork.  The funeral had not been planned yet before realtors were calling to sell the house, relatives were calling to state their case for things they wanted and the best, single women stopping by to flirt.  As Forrest Gump so simply, yet eloquently stated, “Life is like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re going to get!”   

My simple, rural roots are appreciated daily.  Yet my brain doesn’t wrap around the insanity.  

Unfortunately, what you see is what you get with me.  I’m not fake, nor do I have any ulterior motives.  I have witnessed so many Trojan horses in my life.  Yet I always wonder why fake people never get called out, and genuine people are criticized.  

I digress.  Back to my original point.  

What we are “called” to do.  Many different people have said to me lately “this is your calling” during various things.  I’ve concluded, my “calling” in life was to smash through a meat grinder multiple times in order to assist others on how to avoid it.  Seriously, when I mention I’ve tripped over my own feet—struggled to find my footing—only to walk into a wall—that is more like my world.  Most people fall in love—get married—or at least move in together—and live ever after.  Happy or otherwise.  Me?  I fall in love—and forever carry the heartache of knowing it wasn’t returned.  On the flip side of this, at the hand of another human, I’ve been at the doorstep of the afterlife—only to rip myself back into this life.  The rehab from it causing an entirely different perspective on life.  

My “calling” if you will, is the ability to help others through traumatic times.  People ask me if I’m intuitive.  Not exactly.  What I am is on the other side of the kind of pain which breaks people in half, after it turns them inside out.  I would not want anyone to experience the kind of pain I’ve had to push through.  However, having pushed through it, I also feel the need to help others who are forced into what I’ve gone through know they aren’t alone.  

Find your “calling”.  Whether it be a simple path, or one more complicated.   Sometimes our greatest challenges, create an ability to help others.

Sometimes, the journey of life gives complication to overcome in order to assist us in helping others.  Behind every strong person—there is a story where they chose to battle back to healthy. Live the life worthy of the calling you have received.  

Enjoy the journey!