Country vs. City

Country vs City.  Did you know there is a rivalry between the two?  It was a shock to me too.  Why we as humans make everything an “us” vs “them” with anyone different from us is an anomaly to me.  When I moved to New York City the first time, the rivalry hit me directly in the forehead.  Nearly knocked me out daily.  I remember the first time flying into LaGuardia to interview, I was in a window seat.  The plane flew right up the East River to land.  My first thought was, “Wow the Statue of Liberty is so tiny!”  Somehow in pictures Ms Liberty looked as big as Pike’s Peak!  Staring at her in reality from the sky she looked like a paper weight.  The second thought, “how does the island of Manhattan not sink?!”  There were so many buildings.  It was overwhelming.  When I landed the job—relocated and walked in my first day, I was overwhelmed and excited,  only to discover I was the enemy.  The country girl in the big city.  They named me “Hick”, “Redneck” and “Small town”.  I won’t mention the harassment or how it cut to the core.  What I will say is I’m a simple soul which did not bode well amongst the die hard city folk.  

For those of you from the more metropolitan parts of the world.  Please allow me to give some insight of growing up in a rural farming and ranching community.

 When not in school, my family worked—hard.  Although we didn’t consider it work.  There were chores to get completed every day.  It wasn’t work, it was necessity.  We didn’t have air conditioning in our high school building.  On days the temps hit over 100 they closed school.  You might think we were thrilled to have school cancelled.  Wrong.  No matter the heat index—if we were out of school we were working.  School was much easier.  College was the first I’d ever heard of hanging out at the mall.  The concept of going to a building—with crowded people, to get something to drink and walk around aimlessly for hours doing nothing, was a concept my head will never wrap around.  However, I do know the feeling when your body is so exhausted from hard work, you can’t eat or function. I’ve been physically exhausted to a point my body shut down.

After starting my career—I found the gym.  It was like pretending to do work, all the while focusing on building muscle or getting stronger.  My grandfather used to tell me farm work builds character—makes you stronger.  Incorrect.  What I’ve learned through the years is farm work doesn’t make you stronger.  It pulls your character right out.  Reveals who you are—how much “grit” you have.  A number of years ago, I worked with a 50 year old man who walked into my office excited about a motivational book he had discovered with an amazing concept he had never heard of.  When I asked about the concept he declared, “Grit!” He was as excited as a child tasting chocolate for the first time.  He’d made it 50 years without understanding or knowing about the concept—or the word.  What?!  I’m sure my look was —interesting.  He had zero clue about a hard day’s work—and it showed.  Daily.  

For those of you who love the gym, I’m with you.  There is nothing better than a great, sweaty hard core workout to feel energized and alive!  However, there is gym strong and then there’s farm strong. They’re mutually exclusive. The toughest girls and women you’ll ever meet, both mentally and physically, spend their days on a farm.

Working on the farm taught life long skills I can still utilize today.  For example, there are more uses for twine than you can possibly imagine. You can tie up a hole in a slow feeder, fashion a tail strap for a horse’s blanket, temporarily mend a broken fence, use it as a belt and my best use?  Strapping down my younger sibling to the wash rack poles— he was a nightmare.  

There are many sayings you also learn. “Well that didn’t go as planned,” “Duck!” And the one which will test your speed, “the gate’s open!”  When you hear “the gate is open”—you instantly morph into Flash Gordon.  On a typical day, I move about the pace of a turtle through peanut butter—when someone barks out,  “the gate is open” —Flash Gordon himself couldn’t keep up with me!  Especially if it’s the pasture with the horses.  The last thing we need are the show horses visiting the highway.  

Are you one of those people idealizing about control?  Control is a mere illusion. The thought that you have any, at any given time, is utterly false.  Especially on a farm.   My youth horse used to love to taunt my mother.  The minute her eye caught my mother in the field, she would run to where she was—turn around—and slowly back up.  What did my mother do?  She would typically wave her hands —run toward the fence—while yelling my name in sheer fear.  If that horse could have laughed out loud—she would have.  Ever had one child enjoy taunting another?  Describes their relationship perfectly.  

If you’ve never felt your obliques contract, you’ve never tried stopping an overly full wheelbarrow of horse manure from tipping over sideways. Or attempting to keep a bale of hay from breaking.  Trust me, you’ll feel muscles you never knew existed.  They’ll remind you of their existence over and over as well.  

When an animal becomes ill, you’ll go to heroic lengths to minimize their discomfort.  I have personally walked animals through the night, set up special accommodations in the barn and slept in the corner of the stall to make sure all was ok.  

On a side note, when they are healthy and relaxing— if you’ve never rested your head on your horse while you both lay in the stall—you’re missing out.  Feeling the warmth of their energy will soothe your soul.  

My mother tells people if reincarnation exists, not that it does, but if it does, she wants to come back as one of my animals.  Spoiled is an understatement.  Their needs come first—always.  Summer heat —freezing cold at times subzero winter days.  Doesn’t matter.  Making sure they all have fresh water, clean bed, and plenty of feed. Before you have your first meal, a snack or your last meal of the day— they eat before you. 

Diet programs?  No need.  Summer day—hauling hay from sun up to sun down—problem solved.

When an animal passes, even though you know it is inevitable at some point—the emotional pain breaks you in half.  It’s a heaviness indescribable.  On a farm, you have no choice but to regroup and move on.  Drama isn’t acceptable.  You’ll cry— a lot.  You will ache— a lot.  However, the love and joy they bring is worth every ounce of the pain of losing them.  You will never live more fully, nor more present.  

I’ve spent many a night hoping for a miracle.  Praying for my guardian angel tribe to do their magic!  I will admit sometimes it was for a rainy day to avoid hauling hay.  

Farm life gives a different kind of humor.  Laughing until you fall down.  All of my friends knew if they wanted to hang out with me—they had to come to the barn.  On one occasion, while helping me clean stalls, a good friend had the wheelbarrow take a turn she couldn’t control—causing her to face plant into the manure.  We laughed so hard, my stomach hurt for days.  

The sunrises and sunsets are calming—soothing—quiet.  Listening to the animals move around  waiting for their people to give them attention.  When you walk out to the field—it absorbs your stress.  The sun soaks into your bones.  As your body moves on uneven surfaces, it strengthens your legs and core. 

I might be in the city now, but don’t let the hair and heels fool you.  I can still go from makeup to mud in seconds.  

If you ever get a chance to experience country life, don’t make fun of it, embrace a different perspective of life.  After all, experiences of life build us from the inside out.  

Be healthy!

Be happy!

Embrace every day with passion!