Keep Your Fork

Family dinners are always awesome.   Most especially when they are homemade and at home.  My Mom used to host everyone for Sunday and holiday dinners.  When the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, “Keep your fork.” It was my favorite part because I knew something better was coming — like apple dumplings, pistachio bundt cake or chiffon cake. Something wonderful, and with substance! People have such fond memories they have written many books about keeping the fork.

Mindset.  How you look at the world is key.  I’ve spoken of this before.  

My hometown is in the rural Midwest.  Hardworking farmers and ranchers.  It’s good to go home and reset.  In life, it’s good to remember where you come from—where you’re going—and how you managed to get there.  To stay grounded in this world of confusion is important.  

I’m a little bit city and a lot bit country.  Or better yet, I’m a little bit country and I’m a little bit rock and roll.  (Maybe a bit classical and jazz too). Someone once said to learn about a personality, look at their playlist selection. Mine would be a split personality with multiple side kicks. When I’m in the city it’s stilettos and fashion.  When I’m in the country it’s sneakers and boots.  No judgement on either one.  There are positives and negatives to both worlds.  I live somewhere in between.  

Recently, I’ve noticed comments such as “I don’t have money but I’m happy” or “I may not be of high fashion but I’m happy” and on and on.  Why can’t everyone just be happy with their given circumstances?  To make those comments would imply one is of greater importance than the other. Or—It is impossible to be happy if you fit within those comments.  Why the caveat to being happy?  If you like fashion and are happy—wonderful!  If you have money and are happy —great!  Just because you are or are not into fashion does not afford you happiness one way or the other—conversely just because you are into fashion does not make you unhappy.  Who are we to define what is happy for anyone?  People with money can be thoroughly happy and people who are not wealthy can be miserable.  One nor the other cause happiness or unhappiness.  I know people on both spectrums and am thrilled for anyone happy with their life.  What should be noted is if you are not thrilled with your life then make the changes to lead a happy and fulfilled life.  Who are we to judge each other’s lives and define what is happy and what is not?  What makes one happy may not make another.  Be wonderfully happy with what fulfills your life—define yourself on your individual standards—and squeeze every ounce out of every day as tomorrow is not guaranteed.  In your quest to lead a fulfilled and happy life—don’t judge anyone else’s in the process.  

When the random idiot arrogantly declares, “have a blessed life.  You’re going to need it.” Let the ignorance be noise.  Judgmental morons—they do add humor in life.  Let the negativity bounce off.  There is nothing more dangerous than a fool with a cause. 

Hypocrites are necessary in life.  They show us who we do not want to be.  Learn from them.  However, keep their negativity from absorbing into you.  

Growing up I thought people were born with their heads pointed up because that’s how they always looked at me.  In an effort to be super mom, my mother took in every foster kid no other home would take.  Life is not a Hallmark movie—more like a Lifetime one ending in a lot of bad things.  Literally everything I earned as a child was stolen from me at one point or another.  When I was 10, one of the foster kids would sneak into my room at night and beat on me.  That’s when I started sleeping with my dogs.  One night, he snuck into my room— halfway across my dogs attacked.  That night that foster kid learned a baton is used for twirling competitions and keeping him out of my room.  His bruises at the table were explained away by, “I was kicked by a cow”.  My mother remains oblivious to this day as to what really happened.  In school, I was always following a combative foster kid who claimed to be family and caused the teachers to look at me harshly.  The teachers were the harshest at judgement.  One threw me in the corner immediately the first day of the school year.  Yelling loudly “you will not cause trouble in my class”. 

Boxes.  I was framed in them most of my childhood.  Check the box for “other” as I never disrupted class, was an excellent student and vowed to prove everyone wrong.

People didn’t know me.  They thought I was typical of what they boxed me in.  They didn’t know who I was —what I was capable of—or how hard I would work to get to where I am in life.  I was from the old side of town.  The side of town people didn’t need to buy large homes to prove anything.  My family were not poor.  We worked hard.  I learned a hard day’s work was rewarding.  Humility—kindness—an asset.

The switchboard of fate always pointed my way.  With so many trying to break me.  Harsh judgement was so common in my world, I had no clue how to deal with compliments.  

I’m an expert at boxes.  Compartmentalizing all of the pain of my youth into boxes locked so tight nothing will open them.  

Ever wonder how people deal with trauma?  They realize there are far more wonders in life to focus on.  Trauma can create victims—or— it affords the ability to see colors brighter—the blessing of calm days—the satisfaction of a paycheck.  

Strength is what we gain from the madness we survive.  It is up to you how to utilize it.  

The happiest people in the world don’t wait for permission to create the life they desire.  They create it on their own terms.  Sometimes you have to make a decision that will break your heart but give you piece of mind. The heart should be at ease knowing what is meant for you will never miss you, and that which misses you was never meant for you.

Every phase of life has happiness mixed with a little coo-coo-cachoo.  No matter how bad things get, I’m a testament it does pass.  There are brighter stars and calmer waters.  Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

People are human.  Some are out there to challenge you.  Others to annoy you.  Figure out how to drown the noise and focus on what truly matters.  Melting down never solved anything.  When problems get overwhelming—take life one step at a time to get to a solution.  

Don’t let anyone bark their negativity at you.  Most especially those who are nonexistent in the arena.  Those who judge are insecure about their own lives.  Your people are those in the arena willing to get knocked in the dirt while living their lives without regret or hesitation.  Those who continue to sit on the sidelines and criticize anyone in the arena to make excuses as to why they are not or can’t enter the arena— are not worth your energy.  

When people bark in arrogant ignorance, “Have a blessed life.  You’re going to need it.”  Laugh and pity them. For they have more issues than anyone around them.  People who hide behind religion are extremely dangerous.  I’m not talking about good hearted spiritual or religious people.  I’m talking about those who hide their hate behind religion.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, the most dangerous people are the weak and non humble overcompensating for their shortcomings and willing to defend the lies to the bitter end like a cornered feral animal. They aim to destroy anything and everyone around them to feel better about themself.  If they tear you down—then they can feel better about their shortcomings.  Step back and allow them to self destruct—keep their negativity from absorbing into you.  

Years ago, I was taught those who know how to wield the sword but can keep it sheathed those are the ones whom are really dangerous they are the ones that are the most powerful.  

The best revenge is a fulfilled, happy life.   

Ignore the noise.

When you have a day that is overwhelming —remember to keep your fork!  

There is a new day with amazing things around the corner!