What People Think

At some point in life you’ve been focused on what people think.  Admit it.  We have all fallen into this hole.  Does it really matter?  

I do believe our reputation, the quality of our word matters.  Respect is earned.  However, the respect of our people is what should concern us.  Your people are those cheering you from the sidelines.  They relish in your success. Speaking the truth on a daily.  Telling you what you need to hear, not what you want to.  

Sometimes I think about the different characters I play in everybody’s story.

I am a Godsend and absolute gift in some narratives.  

A terrible human being in other’s narrative.  

Comedian and entertainer in some.

Pressure cooker in others.

None of it has anything to do with the person I truly am. 

The lens other’s view you through is colored by their upbringing, beliefs, and individual experiences.

Some see your bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying.

Some think you’re weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around you.

Some perceive you’re rude and selfish and others respect the way you stand up for yourself.

Some admire the way you take pride in the way you look and others think you’re conceited or vain.

None of it has to do with who you truly are as a person.

Don’t believe me?  I love stilettos.  When my foot slides into a leather piece of heaven and locks into a sky high heel—my entire mood transforms.  It’s like a jolt of confidence, strength and independence cocktail all in one.  

If I wear stilettos in the city — people compliment my shoes.  

If I wear stilettos in the small town where I grew up—people make faces.  They ask questions like, how do you walk in those?!  Don’t those hurt your feet?!  I would never wear those!  Typically I just smile and do not say much.  One day though, my filter is going to snap.  I’m going to respond with, “If they hurt, why would I wear them?”  And to the other questions, “I walk in them with one foot in front of the other.  Do you not know how walking is accomplished?  Luckily, there aren’t police forcing anyone to wear any type of shoes.  So mind your business and stop focusing on my feet!”  

Same shoes—different people.  

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What you have to understand is what people think about you is none of your business.   You have no authority over how people view you.   Never try to control the way others see you because the only thing that truly matters when the dust settles is what you genuinely see in yourself. 

Charlie Chaplin died at the age of 88.

He left behind 4 statements in his legacy:

(1) Nothing is eternal in this world, not even our problems.

(2) Walk in the rain, because no one can see your tears.

(3) The most wasted day in life is the day we don’t laugh.

(4) The six best doctors in the world…sunshine, rest, exercise, diet, self-esteem and friends

For those of you worrying about what other people think.  I have one question for you.  Have you met other people?  I mean seriously.  

The most judgmental people are the most insecure.  They focus on everything and everyone else to deflect from their own shortcomings.  Do you think a quarterback in the NFL cares to take advice from all of the Monday morning quarterback fans?  Seems ridiculous doesn’t it?  Yet time….one of our greatest assets….is wasted worrying about what people who don’t matter in our world are thinking.  

What about those judgmental idiots who don’t have the wherewithal to actually state something, so they text it.  And then finish it with, “ “there—I said it” as if they have managed to tackle a difficult life quest.  Dude—you texted you didn’t state anything.  And declaring you said something just shows how juvenile you really are.  

A statement like, “there—I said it” truly defines ignorance.  Especially when you’ve texted it.  

This same idiot was getting all amped up.  Ever watched someone without a dog in the hunt get emotional, defensive and angry?  It’s quite interesting.  It is impossible to get hysterical or angry —and think.  So after the above ignorant comment, he declared, “you’re not going to bait me like you do everyone else.”   Luckily, we were texting.  He couldn’t hear, or see me laughing.  If you are going to bait someone, they must be intelligent enough to actually banter with.  Why would one bait anyone with the intellect of a toddler?  But I digress. 

At the end of your life, what will REALLY matter? 

Your salary, what car you drive, how big your house is, or how many fake friends you have on social media—are irrelevant. 

The biggest regret at the end of life is wondering if you lived up to your full potential.

We get caught in a spin cycle of thinking about what others think of us—or what others want us to do instead of living for what truly drives and fulfills us.  When we are too scared to do anything without another person—life becomes very hollow.  I heard an extremely timid guy state things he really wanted to do.  Camping—travel—yet he refused to do anything because he was single and didn’t have anyone to do it with.  It was sad in all of his years of life, he spent most of them clinging to other people and not developing himself to a point he could enjoy his own company.  He looks down on people who live on the older side of town, yet he has always had a safety net.  And he’s held onto that with dear life.  His fingers can’t move fast enough to unfriend someone in a juvenile tantrum after anyone calls him out on his behavior.  It’s those people we should all pity and hope they eventually grow internally.  The truth is the best version of yourself doesn’t care about doing things independently, the car you drive, the salary you make or the zip code you live in.  You are defined by your word—actions—integrity.

When you evolve to be your truest self, you can leave the world knowing you have lived as adventurous and fulfilled as what and who you were meant to be.  

Robin Williams stated, “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” 

Don’t be afraid to take chances.  Einstein stated it best,  A ship is safest at the shore, but it’s not built for that.  

Do you think it matters what other people think?  Let’s walk down this path.  I recently was in my hometown.  There is a guy there who graduated high school, however his vocabulary and reasoning skills are that of about a 7th grade level.  Not judging….just giving you the base information.  I gave an opinion based on a comment he made.  Immediately his shallow, narcissistic world accused me of telling him how to raise his children.  Mind you his children are adults and married.  He has told everyone in town this fallacy.  When I heard the rumor, it made me laugh.  The person who informed me was laughing the entire time they were informing me of the rumor.  Why?  Anyone who knows me, and there are many in my hometown who do, know me well enough to know I would never tell anyone how to raise their children.  I could truly care less to evaluate parenting skills, or lack thereof.  Conversely, anyone who knows him—well they know he is a mess.  His reputation precedes him.  

The best revenge is a quiet whisper and an amazing life.  The only reason people pick on anyone is because they stand out.  Haters will hate no matter what you do.  They tear you down to mask their own shortcomings.  

Delete the adjective.

Don’t know what I mean by that?  Don’t let small, insecure minds put adjectives on you.  Adjectives and the boxes people attempt to put us in are irrelevant. 

The only thing concerning you should be your value add.  

Life is merit based.  Look at your value.  If you choose to pay attention to the opinions of others.  Then make sure those opinions are of the people within your inner circle.  Those driving you to succeed.  Those encouraging you to not let the quit inside of you.  

Worry about your whole person.  How are you growing, evolving and adding to the narrative.  

This same trip home, I took my cousin with me.  Want to know how small minds think?  Before our trip was over, rumor had it the man I was traveling with was my guy.  C’mon y’all.  He is half my age. Rumors of a small town.  It could be a comedy show.  

The most resilient people know their story.  It doesn’t protect their insecurities,  it defines who they are.  

Have you ever sent a text and then watched the three dots of them texting back —and then it stops—and then you make up a story as to what is happening.  You dive to the deep end of the pool and nearly drown in negativity, when their text actually appears and it’s not even close to what you thought.  How many times is your narrative wrong?  Exactly.  

Rejection, shame, fear, loneliness—the most powerful words most are terrified of.  Be the one who forges ahead anyway.  

If I allowed the adjectives of others to break me, I would have never accomplished the amazing things in life I have.  Nor would I have enjoyed amazing life experiences.  And yet when I go to my hometown, I try to blend in and enjoy the simple of it all.  I don’t defend the adjectives people think I am.  Those aren’t my people.  The last thing I’m going to do is waste my time defending myself to people who are not in the arena squeezing every ounce of life out of every day.  

So while everyone else are sitting on the sidelines throwing their adjectives on you.  While they fear the arena without clinging to another person to jump in.  While they make excuses for their own shortcomings and put you in a box of judgment.  Keep forging ahead with your life.  Set your goals—reach them—and then set higher ones.  

Leave the waiting for “someday” to those watching from the sidelines.  

Remember, the road to someday leads to nowhere. 

Keep your eye on your journey.  Never let anyone’s opinion detour you from your goals. 

Slide your feet into a pair of stilettos—and strut!