Strong

What is strong?  We hear it all the time.  “I’m strong”—“They are strong”—“you don’t know how strong you are until strong is all you have” or something along those lines.  Have you ever wondered, at the core, what does it mean?  

I suppose strong could be categorized into mental and physical.  Physical strength can be developed with determination and consistency.  Mental strength — takes a different kind of persistence.  Those who have developed mental strength are amazing to spend time with.  Before you go out strutting how tough you are.  I will warn you— if people see you as mentally tough, they will not understand you can break too.  And you will.  

Growing up in the MidWest, at an early age I developed mental tough.  I can still remember my grandfather telling me mental strength is the true test of grit.  That man defined tough —mentally and physically.  If you’re a fan of Yellowstone—my grandfather was John Dutton.  He was good looking—physically an Ox of a man—iron tough mentally with nerves of steel.  Nothing broke him down.  Zero.  Unfortunately for me—he wanted a grandson.  What he received was me.  What I developed was a seriously strong capacity both mentally and physically.  

Here is the fallacy.  With people running around declaring how tough they are —those of us who actually are —typically fall back in an effort for no one to see us.   When people see you as strong, they think you do not need anything or anyone, you can handle everything and will overcome whatever happens—zero weak moments.  However, everyone have weak moments.  Everyone.  I have days when I’m nails walking—iron tough.  Then other days I’m sitting in my room using cookies as a spoon to eat cake.  

When you are perceived as strong, no one understands you have weakness too.  Understanding weakness is what gives strength.  People look for you to help, as they see strength to lean on.  

For those of you in the arena with me—Never will anyone ask if you’re tired as strong is perceived as never tiring, suffering or falling.  There are no weak moments.  Anxiety or fear are not present.  We are a lighthouse in the fog.  

Our scars remind us the past was real.  However, those scars also give us strength.  They are our navigation when others seek guidance.  Experience—overcoming adversity—afford us the ability to give grace when others are struggling.  It takes zero effort to criticize and judge.   Want to define weak? Look at those judging and critical of others on their weakest moments.

If you find yourself in need of building a wall to avoid someone, remember, people don’t always build walls to keep others out.  Sometimes it is a necessity to protect whatever is left within.  It’s not a weakness, but the ability to define who you want in your world.  

Until you change your thinking, you will always recycle your experiences.  When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment it grows in, not the flower. You don’t have to defend or explain your decisions to anyone. It’s your life. Live it without apologies.

If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose.  When you wake up, you can’t just wait to see what kind of day you’ll have. You have to decide what kind of day it will be.  If your life just got a little harder, it probably means you just leveled up.  It’s not you against the world—most times it’s really you against yourself.  

Life is not about being rich, being popular, being highly educated or being perfect. It’s about being real, humble and kind.   

If someone treats you badly, stops talking to you with zero communication as to why, remember there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don’t go around destroying other human beings.  The worst person to be around is someone who complains about everything and appreciates nothing.

We have defined there are no bad days—as long as you’re upright and breathing.  Always find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life, but it will surely add life to your years.  I laugh at myself daily.  

Tough days build better days—better days build great days.  Never lose sight of this.  If we could spread kindness as quickly as we spread hate, judgement and negativity, what an amazing world we would live in.